Blessed Assurance

This has been on my mind for a week or so now and my bestie said I needed to share it, so, here goes. This is for you, Missie. ❤

We’re caught in the middle of a global pandemic and nothing is clear and nothing is certain and I have no answers and no idea what tomorrow has in store.

And yet, for the first time in my life, I am filled with this calm assurance.

It feels odd to me, because my anxiety is still there, fluttering around, but then there’s this deep bass note of knowing.

Sometimes you feel things in your head, and sometimes in your heart, and sometimes in your gut. I feel this assurance in all three: no matter what happens, no matter what comes next, this is not the end.

This is not the end.

Even if I should catch this virus and die, even if the knuckleheads speeding on my street should actually kill me, even if there’s some kind of violence and I get caught up in it and die, this is not the end.

There will still be a garden to tend, there will still be a cat to pet, there will still be a hand to hold — maybe Jesus’s hand, I don’t know.

But no matter what happens today, tomorrow, or in a year, I know, and kind of for the first time in my life, that this is not the end.

I don’t have answers. I don’t even really have questions, if I’m honest. I’m scared and nervous about what might happen.

But I know that whatever does happen, it’ll work out okay somehow

Death isn’t the end of the story. Death is turning a page.

So for now I’m going to keep washing my hands and keep waving at people and keep smiling even if I’m wearing a mask because my eyes will show it. I’m going to keep writing my articles for work and keep writing my stories for me and keep mucking about in my garden.

Everything will be okay in the end.

And this, my love, is not the end.

Lost

I’ve been working at the paper since July 2019. In that time, I’ve traveled all over the county, all the way up to the border. Most of the places I’ve gone have been places I’ve never been before. Most of the things I’ve done have been things I’ve never done before. Most of the people I’ve met have been people I’ve never met before.

I’ve never yet gotten lost.

(Not for lack of trying, either.)

I’ve gotten stuck — up in Rangeley on a holiday with a dead camera battery and another half hour of photo taking to do, off the road into a ditch in Phillips at 8PM, on the shoulder of the road in Coplin Plantation in the dark with a secondhand smoke induced coughing spasm — but that’s not the same as getting lost. And there was always someone to help.

In Rangeley, I texted the police chief and asked where I could charge the battery, and he pointed me to the grocery store. They let me charge the battery for a bit while we browsed and picked up lunch and a few groceries, and I got my photos.

In Phillips a couple guys stopped and used one guy’s truck and the other guy’s chain and popped me out of the ditch easy as anything. Made sure I was all set before they left.

In Coplin a Lucas Tree truck driver stopped to see if I was okay. I was crying, on account of not being able to breathe very well and having to stop in a place where I didn’t have cell signal, but there wasn’t anything he could do. I just needed time to ride out the coughing, so he reluctantly left. But the action of someone stopping to check was something that still makes me feel like it’s not all rubbish in the world today.

But I’ve never gotten lost.

I was talking about it with my big brother Caleb when I was down in Cape Cod to see those boys, and was able to put words to what I meant.

I may not always know where I am, but I always know what to do to go where I want to be, or what to do to go back where I came from.

I don’t feel lost if I know where to go. And I always seem to know where to go.

I am lost when I don’t know where I am and I don’t know where to go or what to do.

And that’s where I’m at with this virus.

I don’t know where I am.

I don’t know where to go.

I don’t know what to do.

I’m lost.

Here’s the thing about being lost: you need to do a little bit of letting go. If you’re sitting in the car clutching the steering wheel for dear life, you need to pry your fingers off it and get the map out of the back seat before you can even think about getting unlost.

We don’t really have a road map for this situation. And it’s not like getting lost in the woods where you might need to just sit down and wait for rescue teams to find you.

I don’t know how we get unlost here.

I don’t know where we’re trying to get to.

I don’t know how to get back to where we were.

All I can do is let go, take one step, then the next. I feel like I’m learning to walk all over again.

I think of a wee little babe learning to walk who was so focused on taking a step that she held her breath; she couldn’t get past that first step when she was holding her breath.

I need to let go and breathe deeply in, out, in, out, to the beat of my footsteps.

Here’s the other thing about being lost: it doesn’t matter where you’re going and where you’ve been, if you’re okay right where you are. That is my wish for each and every one of us: that we will find a moment of stillness where we are.

– Annie

Black Friday {sale and giveaway}


I wanted to tell you about a HUGE sale that is going on this weekend! There are over 150 titles available and they are all either $.99 or FREE! There are also a long list of paperbacks for sale at incredibly discounted prices as well, and the good news is they are all clean reads! Be sure to go check out this amazing sale here.

There is also an amazing giveaway going on! Grand Prize winner receives 20 paperbacks and the 2nd place winner gets 20 e-book titles from the sale for free!

You can sign up for the giveaway here.

Giveaway runs from November 22nd till November 26th @12AM ET. Grand prize open to US winners only. 2nd place prize is open Internationally.

2nd Place Winner Receives 20 E-books:

Gather Round the Fables by Erika Matthews
The Case of the Tabloid Tattler by Perry Kirkpatrick AudioBook
The Twelve Cats of Christmas by Perry Kirkpatrick Audiobook
Coffee Shop Christmas by Ryana Lynn Miller
The Land of Cotton by Ryana Lynn Miller
Entertaining Angels, Entertaining Angels Book 1 by Emerald Barnes
Secret’s Kept by Jennette Mbewe
The Firethorn Crown by Lea Doue
Beyond Broken Pencils by Julie C. Gilbert
Ashlynn’s Dreams by Julie C. Gilbert
Soldier On by Vanessa Rasanen
Burning Rose by Hope Ann
Iced and Nailed by Avery Daniels
Imani Earns Her Cape by Bokerah Brumley
October by J. Grace Pennington
Disowned by Sarah Addison Fox
My Compass Home by Michaela Bush
Summer Shadows and Necessary Evil by Killarney Traynor

Grand Prize Winner Receives 20 Paperbacks:

Mythical Doorways by Jenelle Schmidt
Faith is the Victory by Faith Blum
Kiera by Kate Willis
Because Anonymous Diana L. Sharples
After: Book One in The Neverway Chronicles by Savannah Jezowski
Specter: Book Two in The Neverway Chronicles by Savannah Jezowski
Leandra’s Enchanted Flute by Katy Huth Jones
Eagle Eyes by Tammy Lash
London in the Dark by Victoria Lynn
When Beauty Blooms by Victoria Lynn
Aerisia: Land Beyond the Sunset by Sarah Ashwood
Iced and Nailed by Avery Daniels
There Was Always Laughter in Our House by Sarah Holman
Bridgers: A Parable (paperback) by Angie Thompson
Love Blind (paperback) by Angie Thompson
Code by Angie Thompson
Christmas Eve at the Backdoor by Rebekah Morris
The Seven Drawers by Kendra E. Ardnek
He’s Making Diamonds: A Teen’s Thoughts on Faith Through Chronic Illness by Sara Willoughby

{Links}

Book Sale takes place HERE

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