Blessed Assurance

This has been on my mind for a week or so now and my bestie said I needed to share it, so, here goes. This is for you, Missie. ❤

We’re caught in the middle of a global pandemic and nothing is clear and nothing is certain and I have no answers and no idea what tomorrow has in store.

And yet, for the first time in my life, I am filled with this calm assurance.

It feels odd to me, because my anxiety is still there, fluttering around, but then there’s this deep bass note of knowing.

Sometimes you feel things in your head, and sometimes in your heart, and sometimes in your gut. I feel this assurance in all three: no matter what happens, no matter what comes next, this is not the end.

This is not the end.

Even if I should catch this virus and die, even if the knuckleheads speeding on my street should actually kill me, even if there’s some kind of violence and I get caught up in it and die, this is not the end.

There will still be a garden to tend, there will still be a cat to pet, there will still be a hand to hold — maybe Jesus’s hand, I don’t know.

But no matter what happens today, tomorrow, or in a year, I know, and kind of for the first time in my life, that this is not the end.

I don’t have answers. I don’t even really have questions, if I’m honest. I’m scared and nervous about what might happen.

But I know that whatever does happen, it’ll work out okay somehow

Death isn’t the end of the story. Death is turning a page.

So for now I’m going to keep washing my hands and keep waving at people and keep smiling even if I’m wearing a mask because my eyes will show it. I’m going to keep writing my articles for work and keep writing my stories for me and keep mucking about in my garden.

Everything will be okay in the end.

And this, my love, is not the end.