9 rules to surviving your Dragon Visitors
#1 – Find lots of pepperoni.
#2 – That isn’t enough pepperoni, find more.
#3 – Be polite. Excruciatingly polite.
#4 – Find a fire extinguisher and keep it hidden but handy.
#5 – Do NOT under ANY circumstance offer a dragon Pizza, even if it has pepperoni on it. Cheese gives them indigestion.
#6 – Do NOT ever ask a dragon to fight with you.
- #6.5a – If you must ask a dragon to fight, at least do it politely. As in, excruciatingly politely. You’ll die if you don’t. Although you’ll probably die anyway.
- #6.5b – If you must ask a dragon to fight, get a cat to fight instead. Dragons are highly amused by cats and tend to collapse giggling when a cat challenges them.
#7 – Do NOT offer the dragon princesses, or other such things. They are terribly out of fashion now.
#8 – Do NOT be scared.
#9 – Forget about that last one, a little healthy, sheer terror never hurt anyone.
Good luck, you’ll need it!!
And because I really don’t want to hear that any of my lovely friends got turned into smoked ham, I’m adding a printable image. Stick it on your fridge.
Copyright 2017 by Annie Louise Twitchell